


The Shortest "You're a Terrible Whore, Stiles" Sterek Fic Ever Because the Rent’s Not Gonna Pay Itself and Stuart is Sick of Your Ramen Noodle Bullshit.

by FiccinDylan



Series: Sick of Your Shit Verse [6]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Happy Ending, I feel like ramen noodles get a bad name in this, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Prostitute Stiles Stilinski, STUSAAC, Stilinski Twins, slight references to tongue in ass, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 12:06:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3067208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiccinDylan/pseuds/FiccinDylan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stuart takes a sip from his champagne and turns up the bubbles in the hot tub eliciting a pleased chuckle from his bathmate. The amenable companion slinks towards Stuart, placing gentle kisses on his neck and cheeks before slotting their mouths together in a kiss that’s almost steamier than the tub itself.</p><p>"Stuart..."  Stuart grins, his fog stained glasses askew on his face.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah baby, tell Daddy Stu how he can make you happy."</p><p>"STUART! " Stuart’s eyes shoot open as he wiggles under his paramour, turning around and leaning against the edge of the tub to face the voice admonishing him from the door.</p><p>There stands his twin brother Stiles, bright red with embarrassment and anger.   Next to him is his john, well, his Derek, looking equal parts of confused and bemused, but oddly not angry.</p><p>"Oh, hey guys, what's up?"</p><p>or... Stiles starts bringing home less and less scratch and Stuart decides to take matters into his own hands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shortest "You're a Terrible Whore, Stiles" Sterek Fic Ever Because the Rent’s Not Gonna Pay Itself and Stuart is Sick of Your Ramen Noodle Bullshit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is longer than most, but still probably the shortest Stiles prostitute fic with Stuart and Isaac in it so I'm calling it!
> 
> Enjoy!

Stuart takes a sip from his champagne and turns up the bubbles in the hot tub eliciting a pleased chuckle from his bathmate. The amenable companion slinks towards Stuart, placing gentle kisses on his neck and cheeks before slotting their mouths together in a kiss that’s almost steamier than the tub itself.

"Stuart..."  Stuart grins, his fog stained glasses askew on his face.

"Yeah, yeah baby, tell Daddy Stu how he can make you happy."

"STUART! " Stuart’s eyes shoot open as he wiggles under his paramour, turning around and leaning against the edge of the tub to face the voice admonishing him from the door.

There stands his twin brother Stiles, bright red with embarrassment and anger.   Next to him is his john, well, his Derek, looking equal parts of confused and bemused, but oddly not angry.

"Oh, hey guys, what's up?"

***

Stuart and Stiles were broke. They both had partial scholarships to their top pick college, but partial meant that only tuition and books were paid for. It was a small school and the wait list for housing was a mile long, meaning that instead of splitting campus housing with other roommates, they were forced to sublet a small (yet still ridiculously expensive) efficiency in the village. Their dad did what he could, but as a single dad on a cop's salary, it was tough to maintain.

"That's it Stiles, you're gonna have to start whoring yourself out!" To this day, Stuart swears that he was joking, but even he couldn't laugh at the stack of bills Stiles gave him two weeks later. Stuart stared with wide eyes at his brother who just shrugged.

"Don't worry, it's high end and I'm being safe." Stu just nodded and handed Stiles a couple of Benjamins from the pile to get any "supplies" he might need.

Over the next few months, they were pretty comfortable. They still had cup o’ noodles nights, but occasionally they’d get meat from a grocery store and not the Dollar Tree.  They even got a little kickback from Stiles’ rent-boy friend, Isaac, when he crashed on their floor in between jobs.  Suddenly though, the cash flow stopped as Stiles started coming home with less and less and finally nothing at all.

Stuart watched Stiles carefully.  He didn’t appear to be on drugs, but he could tell that his little brother (by three hours) was sad.  He gave Stiles his space until one night he opened their fridge to see it empty save a box of stale baking soda.

“Dammit, Stiles!  What’s going on?”  It turned out that Derek was going on.  Derek was one of Stiles’ johns that Stiles had fallen for and was beginning to see exclusively.  

“I’m so in love with him, Stu!  And he only sees me as a rent boy.  He said he would never settle.  He never finished the sentence, but I know he meant he would never settle for someone like me.”  Stuart knew his brother and knew that something was probably lost in that translation, but he can’t be mad when his twin is so upset.  “I just want him to love me and take care of me.  He told me he would, but I know it’s only with money.  I want his heart.  I- I can’t do this anymore, Stu.  I’m so sorry.”

Stu nodded and sighed, hugging Stiles tightly,  “Okay, Stiles.  I understand.  Shit, I guess I gotta get a job.”

Stuart did get a job.  In the mailroom of a publishing firm called Clever Wolf Pun Industries.  Stuart liked the name, the hours were flexible and the pay was enough to cover their rent and some necessities.  

After a few weeks on the job, Stuart was called upstairs to the president of the company’s office.  Unless they caught him smoking weed on camera, Stu couldn’t imagine what he would want. Especially since his manager was the supplier.  Why would the president of the company fire him and not his manager?

Stuart walked into the office, letting the door close behind him and readied himself to throw his higher up under the bus when a man in an impeccably tailored suit came from around the desk and started stalking towards him.  

“Why didn’t you tell me you were working here?”  The man said as he went closer.  Stuart began to back up slowly.

“Uhh, I mean, I’m on payroll so wouldn’t you- _mmmphl_!”  Stuart was interrupted by a tongue down his throat and a hand on his ass.  Despite the confused look of horror Stu gave him, the man simply kissed the flummoxed younger man again, this time grinding their crotches together.  After letting out a manly, confident whimper, Stuart found his voice.

“I HAVE A TWIN!”  Derek pulled back in shock and released Stu who adjusted himself obviously before exhaling two calming breaths.  Derek looked at Stuart sideways.

“What?  Stiles?”  Stuart rolled his eyes.

“Dude, no, I’m his twin brother, Stuart.”  Derek looked at Stuart suspiciously.

“Stiles has told me about his entire family, but never said anything about a twin.  I know about his mother.”

“ _Our_ mother!  And I told him not to tell his… _friends_ about me.”  Derek and Stuart looked at each other knowingly aware of Stiles’ profession, but grateful for the clandestine wording.  Derek crossed his arms and snorted.

“But wait, why not talk about you? Wouldn’t that alieve situations like this from happening?”   

“Whatever dude, don’t blame the victim!” Stuart gasped.

“Don’t call me dude.  My name is Derek.”  The way too hot guy said. Gears clicked into place in Stuart’s mind as he realized where he was.  

“Wait, you haven’t seen my brother in weeks, and you just kiss him out of the blue?”  Derek’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What are you talking about?  I see him all the time, we’re going to the Poconos this weekend.”  Derek paused a moment and smiled to himself. “I want him to meet some very special friends of mine.  He’s really, he’s special.”  Stuart narrowed his eyes.  Stiles was special alright.

“Look dude, this is gonna be too weird with me working here, so how about you give me 2 weeks’ salary and I hit the skids?”  Derek shrugged and pulled out his checkbook as Stuart reeled and couldn’t believe that worked.  He had to get Stiles’ former client list, but first, he had to kick some ass.

“Dammit, Stiles!  Why is your john, Derek Hale?  Why do you even _have_ a current john, and WHY does he think he’s taking you to the Poconos?”  Stuart barged in his apartment where Stiles was perched on their couch/futon/bed and listening to Adele.  Stiles blanched at the accusations and then slumped.

“I… I didn’t feel right taking his money anymore.  I mean, he doesn’t know, he still pays me.  But I thought maybe if I spend time with him he won’t think of me as just a whore.  And then he asked me to go to the Poconos with him which sounded great, but then he said he would give me $3,000 and we’re right back where we started.  I just… I just… _Stu_.”  

Stuart looked at Stiles like he’d grown a third head.  “I’m sorry, Stiles.  But did I just hear you say that a) you’re still seeing him, b) he’s still _paying_ you, and c) HE INVITED YOU TO THE POCONOS?!”  Stuart turned a bright red and he swears to this day that actual steam poured out of his ears.  Stiles just looked at him sadly.

“I didn’t want to stop seeing him, but I felt wrong spending his money when I had feelings for him.  So I’ve just been hanging on to it.  And yes, the Poconos, but it’s not a big deal.”

“He said he was going to introduce you to friends, that you were special.”  Stiles shrugged.

“Probably other clients, I don’t know.”  Stuart is about to walk away when he remembered a very important part of what Stiles just said.

“Wait! You hung on to it?  Stiles, where is the money?”  Stiles pointed towards the bathroom.

“I have it in a duffle bag in the closet.”  

“STILES, GO GET IT!  SHOW ME NOW!”  Stiles went into the closet and came out with a black duffle.  Stuart opened the bag and gasped at the stack of bills inside.  He did a quick count and grabbed his chest.

“Stiles, there’s more than a hundred grand in here!”  Stiles sighed and laid his head on his brother’s shoulder.

“I know, but aren’t I worth more than that?”  Stuart rubbed his thumb along Stiles’ cheekbone and exhaled.

“Stiles… NO!  It’s a hundred _fucking_ grand, I’ve been eating toothpaste on crackers!”

“Stuart!”  

Stuart apologized and in a bid of penance rubbed his brother’s back while he cried to the raspy tones of Duffy.  

“Just.. go on your trip, Stiles.  Big brother Stu-”

“By 3 hours.”

“ _BIG BROTHER STU_!  Will take care of it, okay?”  Stiles burrowed into Stuart's chest mumbling his thanks.  Stu sighed and began to make plans.

***

“Stu, what the hell is going on?  How did you get in here?  Why are you in Derek’s hot tub with _Isaac_?”  Stuart could feel Isaac’s dick bob up and down on his ass, but more importantly he could feel Isaac’s tongue circling his ear.

“Uhh, ahem. I got in here by cloning the key and pretending to be you.  Your security here is awful, dude.”

“Don’t call me dude, it’s Dere-”

“Derek, I know!  Anyhow, I’m sitting in _Derek’s_ hot tub with Isaac-” Isaac rests his chin on Stuart's shoulder and rakes his eyes up and down Stiles and his j- well his boyfr- his _Derek._

“Hey Stiles.  Who’s your friend?”  Stiles blushes and gives a small wave.

“Hey Isaac, this is Der- no wait, _fuck_ , Stu!  What the fuck?!”

“-because we moved.”  

Everyone stops and stares for a moment.  Isaac wraps a sure hand around Stuart’s cock underwater and whispers loudly to him.

“I think they’re waiting for an explanation.”  He says before giving a smooth pull over Stuart’s already heated skin.  Stuart clears his throat, nods and continues.

“Derek, look.  My brother was a whore and then he fell in love with you.  Stiles, Derek is in love with you too.”  Stiles shuffles his feet, avoiding Derek’s gaze.

“He only loves me for-”

“Oh god, Stiles!  He took you to the Poconos to meet his family!  He said you were special!  And Derek, Stiles is so crazy about you he hasn’t spent a lick of the money you gave him.”  Derek huffed.

“Okay, so I love Stiles. That still doesn’t fully explain why you’re here with this other young man, looking like you’re about to fuck in my hot tub.”

“We’re gonna _make love_ in this tub!  And we’re here because I moved us in.”

“YOU WHAT?!”  Both Stiles and Derek shout.  They look at each other and then turn away with sheepish smiles.  

“Yup!  Stiles and I are a package deal and so while you were away, I had Isaac here help me move!  I’m done with gray meat, we’re moved in, fucking deal!”  Stuart grabs a shrimp cocktail and feeds it to Isaac who laps at it hungrily.  The flaxen haired penthouse paramour smirks and gives a wink before disappearing under the water behind Stuart and _yep_.  That’s a tongue in his ass.

Stiles places a hand on Derek’s chest and looks lovingly into his eyes, “You love me?”  Derek smiles brightly and places his hand in the small of Stiles’ back.

“Yes, I love you so much, Stiles!”  A small frown suddenly shadows Stiles’ face.

“Just for my body?”  

Stuart rolls his eyes, both at Stiles’ insecurity and Isaac’s tongue swiping at his rim.  “No Stiles, he loves you for you now just shut up and let him love you! I’m _so_ fucking sick of ramen, fuck your mother fucking mouth Isaac, _shit_!”  Stuart assures his brother it’s okay to accept Derek’s love and Stiles is ready.  He leans forward and kisses Derek, wrapping himself around the older man who picks him up and spins him in the air.

Stiles lets go of the kiss suddenly.  

“Wait!”  He walks up to the hot tub and reaches in, pulling Isaac to the surface by his literal mop of blond curls.  He slaps Stuart’s face and pokes his nose.  “What did you do with the money?!”  Stuart gawps.

“Moving is expensive!”

“Stuart!  You said Isaac helped you move.”

“Well Isaac is very expensive too.”

“Stuart!”  Stiles warns. Derek comes behind Stiles, picking him up over his shoulder and saluting his two new roommates in the hot tub.

“Thank you, Stuart.  Don’t worry about the money, but we’ll talk about what ‘ _package deal_ ’ means later.”  He gives them a wink and slaps Stiles on the ass as he carries his still ranting lover to their bedroom.

Stuart was sure Derek was just joking and turns back to Isaac with a coy smirk and a wink.

“I told you I’d take care of you, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for stopping by. Your manicure is perfect!
> 
> Come say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://ficcindylan.tumblr.com)!


End file.
